You're beautiful.

about

I'm Cori, I love you. This is where I come to let out the pain I am feeling daily. I have major depression, anxiety, extremely-high dysthymia, slight cyclothymia and bipolar disorder. I'm a mess. I am willing to help ANYONE who needs help or just wants to talk. Either you can ask on anon or not, I will not publish anything and i'll reply privately. :) Stay strong, beautiful♥

Days free of cutting: 7

*may be triggering*

exhale

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perfstew: please don’t delete this As a part of #semicolonproject416 I drew this really shitty kind of “drawing” on my wrist with my favorite quote ever by my idol, Kristen Stewart. A semi-colon is used where a sentence could have ended but is continued. I thought as an homage and just for everyone going through a hard time, I would share my “story”. Needless to say, I don’t have that much of a story but I have been through some things. I just wanted to say before I start that I know people have had it worse and in no way am I trying to compare myself to anyone else. It all started in middle school, I was bullied really badly. New school, completely different people. I don’t remember when it exactly started but kids would make fun of my for being “ugly, fat, worthless, weird, stupid, nerd, my clothes, hair, nobody, etc.” My appearance was one of the biggest things I was targeted for. They mostly made fun of the way I look because I’m more tan than everyone. I am Italian. Some racial things were said to me most of the time. Gym was the worst because I wasn’t exactly the biggest sports fanatic as everyone else and didn’t play every single sport. So my abilities were different and that’s not the only thing. Every single gym class, these two boys would make fun of me for “dating” someone in fifth grade since he was “popular” and I obviously wasn’t. Besides the fact it was fifth grade, they would say how surprised they were that someone as ugly and worthless as me would ever have a chance with someone like him. They would yell it to the whole gym and I would cry every time. It made it more embarrassing crying in front of everyone while they basically just laugh along. In music class, I had to share a guitar with this girl. She would always constantly converse with the class how annoying and stupid I was right in front of me on purpose. Funny thing is, I really never talked to her thinking I would bother her. That also made me cry in front of them. I was always scared to give presentations in front of the class because they would just mock me and judge me on everything, from how stupid I was to my looks. I started to get anxiety. Eventually, I developed depression. High school started and no one really knew anything going on. I always looked so happy, especially around my friends. I didn’t want to tell anyone because I thought it was so embarrassing and it didn’t matter anyways. I thought at this point even they would draw their own conclusions. And sometimes they actually did make me happy, but that’s besides the point. I always loved the Twilight movies, but I really never knew anything about Kristen Stewart. I am so blessed I became more interested in her before I considered self-harm or something worse. Because I was better than that, and worth so much more. I know what you’re thinking, I don’t even know her, how could she have helped me. In every interview I watched about advice, or read things where she shared her story, she was so real and had such meaningful words. She was just like me. Even just her as a person makes me so happy, her acting, her attitude towards everything, etc. I also want to be an actress one day, and she is my biggest inspiration. Every obstacle I face from now on is with optimism and confidence. One of the many things she taught me was that sometimes the bullshit people go through is what makes them the stronger person that they turn out to be, so “it’s okay to not be okay”, and in time it will get better. That it was okay to be different from everyone else, it’s what made me my own person. An individual. More importantly, myself. I did not have to be like everyone else. I never knew that was okay before. I am proud to be who I am. She made me into the strong person I am today and made me realize I could conquer any battle if I set my mind and soul to it. For me, for her. I could go on for eternity. It breaks my heart to see things said about her when people don’t even know what she’s about. Because that was the person that saved me, and makes me who I am today. Kristen Stewart is the reason my story is still being continued today, and for many years to come. Even though I’m so scared of needles, I considered getting this as a (better) tattoo one day, but more importantly it will be inked on my heart. I am ALWAYS here for anyone going through a hard time. But the other moral of the story is please always consider everyone else’s feelings. You never know how words can affect a person. Even though I looked happy, I was broken inside and just was fortunate enough to find an angel, the literal light of my life. Thank you so much Kristen Stewart. You are so much more than “that girl from Twilight”, or anything else negatively said about you. You are so many people’s real life hero, and I cannot thank you enough. I love you so much, thank you ;
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satans-bacon: The Euthanasia Coaster is a concept for a steel roller coaster designed to kill its passengers. In 2010, it was designed and made into a scale model by Julijonas Urbonas, a PhD candidate at the Royal College of Art in London. Urbonas, who has worked at an amusement park, stated that the goal of his concept roller coaster is to take lives “with elegance and euphoria.” It is a ride to the death. The seven loops or “inversions” put the human body under such stress that it causes the brain to be starved of oxygen, as the heart simply cannot push blood against the enormous g-forces. Even if it kills you, it is designed to still be a fun death. An honourable thought, if rather macabre.
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burnt-roses: watch me..
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pessimysticc: I know this doesn’t go with my blog, but me and my best friend just got tattoos. We’ve both struggled with depression and self harm and this is our sign of recovery. What you see is a seratonin molecule. This is the chemical that a brain lacks when someone is depressed. Now we’re on our road to a permanent recovery. I’m proud of us. I absolutely love these
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sincerityofselfabuse: i-n-sightful: perfectweight-88: No one else can see them, or hear them, so I just sit there and try to keep that fake smile pasted on my face… This is the most relatable gif i have ever seen. This is me every fucking day. 24/7.  THIS.
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twol0stsouls: Really though.
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i-pulledthetrigger: this atm
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recovery-is-tough: awklicious: this is beautifuly sad I have seen this so many times on my dashboard and I just got what it meant holy shit